How come you never realise that no-one rings your phone?
And yet you seem to agonise about the right ringtone:
You test at loudest beeping so they can hear nextdoor
and then keep them from sleeping with your endless fog-horn snore.
Do you ever think how all the plastic and the tin
that you pile in the sink gets to the recycling bin?
And I've another question that I'm sure is a no-brainer:
Who is the serial leaver of tea bags on the drainer?
It causes me to see bright red when my face is strewn with hair
because you wiped your just-shaved head with the towel we're meant to share.
How happy in your choice of mate you must surely be,
you chose well and sealed the fate of dear old perfect me.
(I wrote With Love To My Antonym for my husband on Valentine's Day 2010. This is an update for Valentine's Day 2014. I think we have towel issues!
Inspired by: Martin O'Sullivan)
