With distinct lack
of baseball bat or basic knife tool
and a mugger
in the shopping mall.
I'm poised in prime location,
I'm without a gun
and I've kicked a bike against the wall.
Traffic cone,
with your highlighter colour,
makes me reek of courage,
helps me to keep armed robbers at bay.
He's got a knife in his hand,
I've got a plastic pylon in mine.
Oh Garda, don't take my traffic cone away.
I've followed all the clues
in this store riddle
and now I'm ready for the fight.
I'm going to catch
these guys and issue a citation.
They're so going down tonight.
Traffic cone,
with your highlighter colour,
makes me reek of courage,
helps me to keep armed robbers at bay.
He's got a knife in his hand,
I've got a plastic pylon in mine.
Oh Garda, don't take my traffic cone away.
(In January 2015 there was a story in the news about how an off-duty garda foiled a robbery attempt, armed only with a traffic cone. I wrote this poem to the tune and rhyme of Paul Simon's Kodachrome. Inspired by Irish Times article)
